Obviously,  I had issues with what I was and had been attracting, as far as experiences went.   Same ole’ story, over and over and over, and I didn’t especially like it.  Enough is as good as a feast, already. 



I could understand the magnetism of what I was attracting on a Quantum level but honestly, what did Love have to do with it?



Then it hit me, I had chosen to Love the lack of it.  Of all things, me, a visionary, blindsided when it came to Values.   That’s when I…

"Honey, I'm sorry to wake you up so early but I need to go the the emergency room in Seattle."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't feel my foot.  I've already talked to the Doctor and they'll be expecting me at Swedish."

...

"You're right Mrs. Edwards, your graft is blocked.  We're getting no pulse in either foot.  You're being admitted immediately."

*sigh*

It's always been this way, ever since I was 2.  Then it was gangrene in my intestines; 1/3 was removed. …

“The warriors of my tribe would call you ‘woman who knows too much and it has made you crazy’.  Your curse is that you have to live with yourself”¸ He said.

Clel’s always popping off saying something like that.  Something that plain makes me laugh.  People call him crazy, too, half Apache, half Mexican, and proud of it, a real firecracker.  Of course, it’s his craziness I find thoroughly enjoyable about him.  He’s astute, with much insight and, is totally…

 ‘What a mess’, I thought, as I looked within, there was conflict and opposition all over the place.   I could understand why I felt at war with myself - Heart in conflict with head; actions in conflict with desires.  What was I, a crash test dummy of inner conflict?

I saw the Light alright. 

The ‘me’ I displayed on the outside, the ‘me’ the World knew, really didn’t accurately express the genuine ‘me’, that was on the inside.  Intimacy was a big issue.  I…