Slippery Rock's and Patrón

Let’s just call it what it is… I don't fit in!  I’m not “in” enough to be a part of the “in crowd”; I’m not scandalous enough to fit in with the “cool crowd”; I’m not Christian enough to be a part of a bible study; I don’t take drugs, I don’t drink (not because I wouldn’t like to have a Margarita at 5PM EVERY day… my body just can’t handle it); I’m not Mensa smart; I’m not a crack house coffee goer (even though I live in the coffee capital of the United States); I don’t think shopping and buying new shoes is the bomb; I’m not the soccer mom trying to squeeze my kid in the next sport, class or activity to keep up with the other moms rigorous schedule… I just don’t fit in… I’m constantly trying to walk on slippery rocks to get my footing in the world, and… well… I fall a lot.

 

What I am… I'm just me.   

 

Me… who: loves the audaciousness of my kids; the consciousness of my marriage; the juiciness of a good song, the gifts being an entrepreneur brings (even when I want to pull out my hair), finding something beautiful in the world every day, even if I’m in the shit of life. 

 

I’m in a conundrum right now in my life. I’m a writer… not because I’m a great writer or anything… but because I’ve always got something going on in my mind that I just can’t shut off.  This is my way of releasing the top from the pressure cooker my brain sits in… sharing what I love. I love getting excited over new possibilities whether it’s my family, health, business, politics or the simple spiritual ponderings of my life and my connection to God.

 

Even with all that I love… I’m slipping and sliding… trying to find my footing in an ever changing landscape (internal and external). 

 

I feel compelled to write… and every time I turn around to look at the mechanics of copywriting, some “expert” is saying to, “position yourself as and authority to reach your audience … Give ‘How to’s’ and ‘Reason’s Why’” and on and on and on!

 

My conflict lies in my wise-self that knows…. I AM NOT AN EXPERT AT ANYTHING BUT MY OWN LIFE… (and that’s even questionable!)… that is the truth for us all.  I may have a deep knowledge of energetic clearings, overcoming fear, hosting a radio show, owning a radio station or handling raucously kids.  I may even hold some beautiful pearls about having a conscious marriage… but I, by no means, am I an EXPERT!  I’ve never walked your life… slipped on your rocks… and have to get back up.  I know MY rocks… I know my rivers current; and I know when I can swim and I know what areas need a boat… and sometimes… I just need to stay on the shore.

 

So I’m not going to sit here and insult you like I “KNOW”.

 

We are encouraged and trained from an early age to “get our act together!”, to “wise up”, to “grow up”, to “be realistic” to simply conform to what is deemed “normal” and “acceptable” I find myself saying some of the same things to my kids… then I have to recant and explain to them (hopefully in words that a 5 and 12 year old “get”) what I really mean… doing my best not to squelch their own individuality or send them reeling into therapy… But let’s face it.  I’m sure my methods will be scrutinized on their journey of self discovery.

 

So for me… I’m unlearning all the things of what, “get your act together” truly means to me. What “wise up” and “grow up” or “be realistic” really captures for me.  I love the quote,  “Be  Realistic,  Plan  for  a  miracle."  by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.  I’m doing my best to deprogram myself that miracles only happen for other people… and see the everyday miracles that are in my life right now.

 

It is the reframing of my every day language.  Things that I have taken for granted or never gave a second thought to… the self nurturing… self care… the acts of service I do for others and others have done for me… slipping and sliding over my conditioned knee-jerk responses. Acting and always thinking with my heart… but responding solely from my head.  These are the times that BOTH are necessary and both are equally important.

 

I’ve been conditioned to never showing my vulnerabilities because at any moment, the fear of being SEEN for who I really am is too terrifying.   No one wants to be vulnerable when vulnerability is deemed "unsafe".  I’m discovering that the only time I’m not safe is when I forget who I am.

 

What is my nature?  I am love.  I am shadow.  I am kindness.  I am wrath… but my truth is that I’m the daughter of God.

 

My hope is that you’ll get something from the exploitations of my soul.  If not… that’s okay too.  My appreciation for you coming this far with me is true and deep.

 

If you feel prompted to share with me the rocks that slip you up… I’d be honored.  Together we can encourage one another’s walk of awareness…. I know that I will need support along the way too… because my next step may be a doozy!

 

I may not be able to handle the Patrón, but in any given moment when that slip up happens…  boy oh boy… Jimmy Buffet and I will commune… perhaps only in song… but we will have our moment.

 

 

Warning to Readers:  My ponderings, opinion and druthers are subject to change… without notice… not even to me!  The only consistency you’ll find here is striving for sure footedness and looking for the silver linings in life.  AND every now and again… tempt the fates by indulging in a Cadillac Margarita with Patrón now and again.

Bio: Lucia Steele is a Vision Keeper + Muse + Writer + Editor + Vision Strategist. She’s crazy in love with her kids! For eight years she hosted the daily radio show Contact Talk Radio with her wonderfully amazing husband Cameron Steele. They turned that fun and informative show into a 24/7 radio station and has owned & operated www.CTRNetwork.com since 2006.

Lucia is on a journey of self discovery… That's all.  Ask her anything you want and she'll share as much as she feels comfortable to share.

Views: 40

Comment

You need to be a member of CTR Network - Internet Talk Radio to add comments!

Join CTR Network - Internet Talk Radio

Listen Live

Partners of CTR

Advertisers of CTR

© 2017   Created by CTR Network.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

// This section controls the look of the return to top button